Life with ADHD
by Kristy Ortman via SandbookNet
The Trials and Experiences as a Mother of a Child with ADHD. I am very honored to be able to share my experiences as a mother of a teenage son who is diagnosed with ADHD. My hope is to help and be of comfort to other parents who are dealing with this experience as well. So, let me begin by introducing myself and my son. My name is Kristy and I am 32 yrs old and a mother of three children Trenton 13(July 5) and Aaron age 7, and Courtney age 3(4yrs in August).
Trenton my oldest son was diagnosed with ADHD. His Clinical Disorder is that he has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Combined type. Which means that he can be hyper but also a lot of Trentons behavior is disruptive and he also is manipulative.
Psychosocial & Environment Problems
Trenton lives with me his Mother (his father and I have not been together since I was a few wks pregnant with Trenton. Trenton goes to his father’s on occasion but, through the years they have had a rocky relationship. As far as Trenton and I go, we are extremely close as I was pretty much a kid myself at the age of 19 when I gave birth to him. The downfall about our relationship is that Trenton when he doesn’t get his own way will argue with me and make me feel bad or guilty. Often he will “try” to use black-mail with me. Or, he often manipulates both his father and I. He is very good at being what I call a “player”. What I mean by this, is that when he doesn’t get his own way with me or his father he will go to another source – his grandparents; or he will use his father and I against each other. He will tell exaggerated lies or half true stories (that are believable) to make his father and I turn against each other. This is what Trenton does to gain favor.
Problems related to the Social Environment: Trenton has a history of fighting among his peers both physical and verbal. He has difficulty with anger outbursts which are often unpredictable.
Educational Problems: Had a history of poor academic performance and disruptive behavior in the classroom. Retained a grade early.
Trenton was prescribed Concerta 15 mg by our family physician who monitor his medication.
List of Past strengths and behaviors that were of concern in the past.
My son will be attending junior high school this upcoming school year. He will be attending a high school in a school district that is about 30-40 min away. The school district that we have in our home town does not unfortunately have a learning support system. Trenton requires small classroom settings and person who sits with Trenton in the classroom and keeps him focused if need be and supports him. My son is very active and enjoys playing outside activities. Those activities he enjoys are basketball and swimming mainly. Inside activities are computer, drawing and video games. He is polite, helpful and interacts well with younger children, especially his siblings. He also is very good with adults as well. And I get compliments on him and his manners all of the time. They would never guess Trenton behaved otherwise. And most do not believe me when I tell them some things. My son eats and sleeps well. At school he rarely ever did his schoolwork, often staring into space. He has difficulty remembering things. He has difficulty working independently. He was often non-compliant by actively ignoring directives and rules. In the classroom he was very disruptive making noises and remarks that were not appropriate. He was labeled as the typical “class clown” as a way to get attention directed on himself. Tended to be impulsive. Very rarely achieved a passing grade in school. At home Trenton would lie and not take ownership when it was clear to me that he was in the wrong for things and it was made known to him. He would often complain of headaches.
Trenton began taking the Concerta and also attends weekly counseling sessions that are about 45 mins long. He has progressed very well in school and behavior! He has been on Concerta since about December 2010. And little by little he has made the progress. Getting Trenton focused was the main concern and although it has been a process it has definitely done wonders. My Trenton even finally made the A/B honor roll this last marking pd for the first time ever! I am so proud of him! As for his behavior he still tests me at times but, its less now and even still he doesn’t persist nor fight battles with me. My son has even made me cry and at times make me feel like a bad mother. His words sometimes were as sharp as a knife. I knew he did not mean those things and later would say after he calmed down that he was sorry and did not mean the things he said or did. But, you know, I really would think his behavior was my fault. I also attend monthly meetings with his counselor as well on my own. It is to talk with her about Trenton about his behaviors and it really helps me as well. I have grown a lot from the sessions and even though his counselor is meant for him she talks with me and guides me and I feel better about myself and apparently it shows to her as well as she has told me. I was always never one for my child to be on Medication but, I have been for years struggling and ignoring the school “thinking” it was just him and everything would get better I guess by magic. Now even with just the small dosage I have my son completely back. It is not a magic pill it just keeps him focused. He also is not in a “zombi- like” state all day long neither. He can still act up at times but, it’s much more easier and less stressful. The main thing is my son feels this and knows this and is proud of his self as well. Which makes me happy!
Thank you for letting me share my Story.
I hope that I helped someone with my personal story about my son with ADHD. That is probably the main reason I wanted to write this and was happy to do so for “The Sandbook” ADHD has affected a lot in our life but, I didn’t know that if I would have just researched a little more with someone who personally had a child diagnosed with adhd that I would have seek and received for my son the Medical help he needed and we would not be doing this so late. I read about the different medications out there but, reading them is truly not the same as hearing a true story spoken by a mother who has a child dealing with ADHD. If you read my story and there is anything you would like to know about or further I welcome you to write me and also, please feel free to leave me any of your personal stories about your child/children that have ADHD . Believe me, I have been through soo many episodes that I can further discuss this topic for sure! E-mail your questions, thoughts or personal stories at Kristy.ortman(at)hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you!